Holding Space
I have co-facilitated many group sessions now (well about 20 to date). Each time I work with a new group I experience a LOT of anxiety. It seems like all those latent thoughts and fears that I usually manage so so well, well try to anyway, (hello imposter syndrome, fancy seeing you here! haha) have a perfect excuse to wake up and have a party in my head, reeking havoc, and dancing their wild ways throughout my body. Of course that all dissipates as we get to know one another and I calm down those raving doubts with trust.
The other day, a few months ago now, I had my first solo gig. No lovely co-facilitator to step in if I lost my words or began to stumble. I was doing this all.by.myself. Well, kind of, because there was the organiser of the day there and she assured me she would help if needed, a reminder that we are not truly alone. It was a self care day for a group of professional women. I was the end of the day presenter following on from the positive psychology coach. I knew I had to activate my inner resources to maintain myself within my window of tolerance so that I could be present and hold the space not only for them but for myself.
Because the focus of the day was self care, I came up with an activity that incorporated self care in real time, I chose the theme holding. We used clay as the medium due to it’s magical calming properties, and ability to make a solid container. It really did feel like real time self care for everyone present. I have included the activity below if you are interested.
I reflect on what I am holding at the moment, I do not feel adverse anxiety as I am playing with words in the comfort of my home and have the power to edit and delete and edit once more if need be. Thank you mother perfection, it will be good enough, Okay? (well truth be known, my perfection is a friend of anxiety, however neither are being particularly annoying at the moment)
I’ve come to know the best way to overcome performance fears (after speaking to a multitude of colleagues who present, observing, preparing and now doing it), is to own it and be yourself when presenting, I find that is all I can be at the end of the day. I often start with my confessions……something along the lines of an introduction….I am an art therapist and a recovering perfectionist, with a high illusion of low anxiety right now, and I am really pleased to be in this ridiculously vulnerable position today, because once upon a time it would not have been the case. Well not those words exactly - but kind of like that.
I have three more therapy workshops lined up, as well as a weekly group at the end of the year AND I am co-presenting an art therapy workshop at the rural mental health forum in Adelaide in November!!! That is a pretty big deal! I embrace them all. Thoughts and fears can party away in the chill out zone, the aftermath wont be all that messy, compassion and trust will make sure of that. I’ll let you know how it goes :)
Resources
https://www.frasac.org.uk/resources/Window-of-Tolerance-Guide-.pdf
https://anzmh.asn.au/rrmh-2022
HOLDING Space real time self-care
(designed for 1 hour activity including reflection)
Using the wisdom and energy of our hands
We deal with pain (and other stuff) in our lives primarily through our hands
(Through touch and interventions)
Question; What is it that you need or would like to be held for you?
For example; Pain, Grief. Time. Anxiety. Or just ‘stuff’. Write down what come up for you in response to this question. Don’t stress if you have no words, sometimes that is hard to access in the moment.
Instructions:
Choose a piece of clay and the paper it is resting on. (grounding paper)
Spend time with your clay Ground breathe gentle breaths, look, listen, feel,
Hold your clay your hands, feel into it, and place your holding need metaphorically into the clay. For example, ‘I hope you can hold my anxiety for a while’.
Attend to your clay, roll it into a ball – what do you notice???
Place your thumb in the middle, follow the instincts of your hand to form a holding container. It might take the form of a small pot or bowl, or it could take on a different form, just follow what your hands are wanting to do to help the clay form this space for you, they will know what to do.
You might like to work with your eyes open or closed
Capture words or feelings that come up for you along the way. Write them down as you experience them on your grounding paper.
You might like to place some offerings or objects inside your pot to symbolise what it is holding for you in this moment. Or decorate it.
Sharing and reflection.
How was this activity for you? What did you notice? Feelings before and after?
Did anything unexpected come up for you? Can you relate to that in other areas of your life?
What might you do with your holding space now?
I sincerely hope you enjoyed this real time self-care activity.
♥ Sharyn
